*Designated Splash Zone

Designated Splash Zone

The urinal at Creekside Pub
always flushes before I’m done

The stream just barely begins
to hit the puck
and I hear activity in the pipes
that indicates that a cascade
of back-splashing water
is seconds away

I take a half-step back
and try not to get any on the floor

I’m thankful that my pants are dark
and no droplets will be visible
but a pretty big drop
got my hand.

*findings

*lucky haiku

lucky haiku

unlucky in love
as they say, lucky in cards
fifteen, hit me... fuck

*a poem i wrote on the way to open mic

Today I saw a poster
actually, a picture of a poster
it that the rapture is coming
on October 28th
1992

I guess I missed it

In the fall of 1992
my parents told me
that our dog was going to a farm
that we could never go and visit
but our dog was happy

It just seems a little too convenient

*more haikus

I wrote most of these like a week ago, except for "Weddings Haiku" which I wrote last June at Nick and Michelle's wedding.


Fractions Haiku

Tall, dark, and handsome
not quite, but maybe one out
of three is your thing


Tuesday Haiku

What am I up to
tonight? just some wine with Friends
...Friends the TV show


Weddings Haiku

Just a reminder
girls who go for the bouquet
aren’t always single


Bus Haiku

On the side of the
Greyhound there’s a light that looks
like the dogs nipple

*alcoholics haiku

alcoholics haiku

I'm not denying
that I'm an alcoholic
I'm just the good kind

*the top two reasons why port is awesome...

it is the wine most associated with poets

it is the wine most associated with pirates