In first year I wrote this as a screenplay. A few months ago a friend of mine said that he would be interested in potentially making it into a comic book. I hope it happens because that would be awesome. Anyway, I haven't made any changes to this since first year, but I thought that some of you may enjoy reading it.
*scott
***
Pop Punx
Chris (typing): …wtf is wrong with u u guys r fags u dont even no wat emo or screamo is seriously ur soo dum.
Mark (enters): Dude, Dude guess what!
Chris (about to open mouth)
Mark: Simple Plan is coming to Vancouver, next Wednesday.
Chris: Dude, you know that our parents would never drive us down there. It’s a school night.
Mark: but man this is Simple freaking Plan. Seeing them is the only think in the world that I’ve ever wanted. That, and a date with Avril Lavigne, the punk rock princess of my dreams. But this isn’t about Avril Lavigne...
Chris: This isn’t even about Lorelei Gilmore.
Mark: dude that’s gross, she’s like 40. Her daughter is too old for you. And even if you were her age she wouldn’t go for you. Anyway that’s not what this is about. This is about…
(Both look at camera both raise a fist and say…)
Mark and Chris: SIMPLE PLAN!
(End Scene)
(Mark and Chris throw open a door and run in)
Mark: Jarard Jarard, dude…
Chris: dude, what the hell? Are you wearing girl’s pants? What the hell is wrong with you?
Jarard: Hey…whatever…shut up, all the guys in MCR (My Chemical Romance) do.
Chris: yeah, but the guys in MCR are cool, and I don’t think that they stole their girl-pants from their older sister.
Mark: Anyway dude! Were going to see Simple Plan in Vancouver! Next Wednesday!
Jarard: Man, I don’t listen to that stuff.
Mark: Since when?
Jarard: I’m Screamo now.
Mark: What the hell is screamo?
Jarard: It means I listen to scream music, heavy stuff, like MCR and stuff.
Chris: Is it screamo to dye your hair black and put a gay blond chunk in it like yours. You don’t even know what screamo…
Mark: Shut up you guys! Who cares what screamo is right now! We have a chance to see the band that has got us though all the tough times we’ve been through. Like when all the jocks made fun of us…well they didn’t like all make fun of us but like a few of them say “punk is bunk” sometimes, and one of them pushed Chris….
Chris: It was really more of a nudge.
Mark: That’s not the point. When girls wouldn’t go out with us, or when Avril wouldn’t return my calls, emails, faxes and letters, or when my parents made me clean my room Simple Plan was there to help me through those times. When I thought that no one else in the world was dealing with these things I could listen to Piers amazing lyrics and I realized that I wasn’t alone. So guys we’ve got a chance to see Simple Plan, but it will ironically require a very complicated plan to get there.
Chris: Are you sure that that’s irony?
Mark: I’m pretty sure it is. Do you have a better definition of irony? …Didn’t think so. But that’s not what matters right now, what matters is… who’s in?
(Mark and Jarard nod their head slowly with a look of understanding on their faces)
(End Scene)
(Mark, Chris, and Jarard in a basement talking)
Jarard: or maybe… we could…um… we could rent a car and…
Chris: Are you retarded? Do you think anyone is going to rent a car to a group of grade niners? And even if they did none of us can drive, and I’m sure that the car company would want some kind of credit card number or a ridonculous deposit or something.
Mark: How about we take the bus, or a plane.
Chris: Because that would take us to a bus station or an airport, and how would we get from there to the punk-gig.
Jarard: Dude, punk-gig is such a lame word.
Chris: What the hell do you call them?
Jarard: Concerts.
Mark: I usually say show.
Chris: But then half the time people think you’re talking about like movies or TV or something like that.
Mark: The Ataris call them shows, like in that song “Are We There Yet” you know “I just want to make it to the show, but I don’t think that…” you know. Anyway regardless of what we call seeing Simple Plan., how do we get there?
Chris: Why don’t you ask Josh to drive us?
Mark: Like Josh my brother?
Chris: No, Josh your… um…freaking whatever I can’t think of something clever to say. Yes Josh your brother.
Mark: Because he doesn’t have a car for one, he’s in school, and he doesn’t even like Simple Plan… he says they’re not real punk.
Jarard: They’re so punk.
Mark: I know.
Chris: Wouldn’t Josh be aloud to drive your parents mini-van.
Mark: Yeah, but if we took my parents van how would we be able to go without them knowing?
Chris: you said you wanted a complicated plan, well you got one!
Mark: (pauses) Well, it’s the best idea so far, let’s give it a go.
(End scene)
(Mark knocks on Josh’s door and lets himself in. His friends follow)
Mark: Hey Josh
Josh: What do you want now?
Mark: What makes you think I’m asking for something?
Josh: Am I wrong?
Mark: …no, Can you drive us to Simple Plan next Wednesday.
Josh: It’s a school night mom would never let me drive you.
Mark: But she’d let you go and we could make an elaborate like about where we are and go with you.
Josh: But why would I go in the first place? If I’m going to drive that far them I’d want to see a real punk band.
Mark: Shut the… I mean please man, we’ll do anything.
Josh: well you’re 13.
Mark: (cuts off Josh) 14!
Jarard: I’m 13
Chris: Shut up Jarard!
Josh: Anyway you’re “14” and in Jarard’s case “13” so there’s not too much that you can actually do for me!
Mark: Commmmoooonnnn Jossshhhaa, this is Simple Plan; you know how much this means to me.
Josh: Well let’s see the “truffle shuffle” and maybe I’ll consider it and think up some conditions.
Mark: Dude not now, my friends are here.
Josh: The truffle shuffle.
Jarard: What’s the truffle shuffle?
Chris: They made Chunk do it in the movie the Goonies. They made chunk lift up his shirt shake his belly around and make a bunch of weird sounds before they let him into the house. And Josh always makes Mark do it when Mark wants something from him.
(Mark in the background with his stomach exposed shaking around making noises)
Josh: So firstly you need to pay for gas, you need to pay for all of my food, and I’m
talking like steak and lobster. Chris you need to lend me your Gilmore Girls DVDs until I say that I’m done with them….
Chris: What? I don’t watch Gilmore Girls!
Mark and Jarard: Yes you do!
Josh: Since I’d have to miss school for this you guys need to find and buy me the following CDs before we go. Tom Wait’s “Blood Money”, The (International) Noise Conspiracy “Bigger cages, Longer Chains” and I guess… Norma Jean “Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child”, mine’s scratched and hmm one more no actually two, well I might as well make it three cause there’s three of you that’s two each. Sooo the Bright Eyes/Britt Daniel collaboration CD, the Bright Eyes “Lua” EP and I guess the Chariot “Unsung” EP will be out before the show so yeah, that.
Jarard: Where are we going to get the money to pay for those?
Josh: You guys are upper middle class kids who live in the suburbs, your parents give you more then enough money.
Jarard: Good point
Mark: So were good to go?
Josh: Not yet. You need to make my bed for like three months.
Mark: Dude you never make your bed, mom doesn’t even make us make our beds.
Josh: do you want to go or not?
Mark: Fine
Josh: Okay, You guys have to make up your own lie and take any blame if you get caught.
Mark: Okay, so we’ll skip school that day and you can pick us up from somewhere. We can’t leave from the house.
Josh: Okay, you guys can work your own junk out.
(End scene)
(Josh pulls his van up to the back gate of the school. The boys are dressed in “gangster” style clothes complete with gold chains and Jarard has a clock around his neck. The boys are hiding in the bushes. They quickly get into the van)
Josh: What are you guys supposed to be dressed as? Mark are you wearing Fubu? You look ridiculous. Are you going to see Fiddy Cent now instead?
Mark: Were in disguise Josh. Like, what if one of our parents friends drives by and sees us and tells our parents.
Josh: I donno man. I think they’re a lot more likely to mention it if they see you decked out and gold chains with clocks around your necks.
Christ: Jarard is the only one with a clock around his neck…. We couldn’t talk him out of it.
Josh: Where did you even get these clothes?
Mark: Mom gives us a clothing allowance, remember?
Josh: So you spent it all on Fubu and Phat Farm clothes and in Jarards cause a clock necklace so you could be disguised for like ten minutes?… You should have just told me that you were this pathetic and I would have felt sorry enough for you to drive you bribe free. So what did you guys tell your parents anyway?
Mark: We made out fake permission slips saying that our French class was doing an overnight field trip to the B.C. Royal Museum, and…
(Gets cut off by Chris)
Chris: And we even got our parents to pay fifty bucks for the trip. That is except for Jarard, who told his parents that the school would accept personal checks.
Josh: Fake permission slips eh, that’s risky, but on the other hand very stealth. Has your school done parent teacher interviews yet?
Mark: Yeah, they do them really early in the year now.
Josh: Then you’re probably safe, but interviews would have been trouble.
(End Scene)
(They are pulled over, Mark is peeing and the side of the road. Chris hits Marks arm with a rock.)
Mark: What the hell dude?! I got piss all over my hand now!
(Everyone else is laughing)
Jarard: Well, sucks to be you.
Mark: Sucks to be you guys, who are sitting with me in the van. How do you like them apples?!
Josh: Mark there is no way you’re cool enough to be saying “How do you like them apples” especially when your threatening to touch someone with you piss hand. Just get in the van.
(End scene)
(Drive into Vancouver, joining the slow moving traffic)
Mark: We’re almost here! I’m so stoked!
Chris: I am too…. I think Jarard might be a little too stoked
Mark: Yeah man seriously, you need to switch back to guys pants. Those girl-pants don’t hide anything.
(Traffic stops completely. Chris looks at his watch)
Chris: Were never going to get there in time if traffic is going this freaking slow.
Jarard: We should just get out and run
Mark: Good call dude.
Chris: Yeah man, let’s do it up.
Jarard: For serious? We’re going to do what I suggested?
Chris: Jarard just shut up and let’s go.
Josh: Wait! How the hell am I supposed to find you after the show?
Mark: Just look for us, we’ll try and be around the front. And we’ll look for you too.
Josh: This concert is going to be freaking huge, that’s going to take forever. Aw, screw it. Just go. We’ll never make a descent plan. Have fun… (Yells) You guys so owe me for this! (As they begin to run)
(End scene)
(They run up to the ticket booth)
All: We need 3 tickets for Simple Plan!
Booth Operator: I’m sorry, but I just sold the last three tickets.
Jarard: Dammit! This only happens on movies!
Mark: Dude, well, umm, if this is like a movie then let’s try and get in like they do on movies.
Chris: Mark that is a retarded idea!
Mark: My retarded ideas have got us this far. You guys should start to respect my retarded ideas!
Chris: ….okay, so what do we do?
(Pause)
(Next two lines blurted out at the same time)
Mark and Chris: dress as security guards
Jarard: hide in a laundry basket
Chris: Jarard, who is going to have laundry baskets coming in and out of a punk rawk concert… especially ones that are big enough for us to fit in?
Mark: And besides, it’s two against one.
Jarard: Okay… Then I guess we need to go get some security uniforms.
(End scene)
(The boys are looking at a group of security guards)
Jarard: Man these guys are way, way, too tough for us to mug.
Chris: Jarard’s right… and twice in one day. New record. So what do we do?
Mark: Let’s make them ourselves… I have a black marker. We can draw facial hair on and stuff too.
Chris: looks like it’s the best we’ve got.
Jarard: Dude! Can one of you draw me a handle bar mustache?
(The Simple Plan bus drives into the parking lot. A camera shows the band inside the bus, looking out the window.)
Pier (singer from simple plan) (to his band mates): Hey look at those kids!
(Camera shows Jarard with a “handle bar mustache”, Mark writing “securtety” on his shirt in marker and Chris reaching for the pen.) They’re pathetic as hell, trying to get into a show by drawing on fake mustaches and stuff. They must really want this… When I see kids that lame I totally feel sorry for them. (Rolls down window and sticks head out) Hey… Umm marker kids… Come over here. You’re coming in with us!
(Camera goes to the boys faces and shows tears forming in their eyes)
(End)
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